things my heart wished our mom had taught us

his knife stabbed just as hard as his words
and left a gaping hole in me and i haven't been the same since.
i know that he ripped his heart out when he was fourteen
and is killing himself everyday
but you need to focus on getting me to beat again.
you cant save him. so save me, save us.

you have to feel pain. you have to feel the sadness.
if you shut it down, we will be left prying open your rip cage,
tearing apart your veins, and bleeding out just to feel something again.
do not shut down. turns out feeling nothing is worse than feeling anything
at all. and after all that your left with a blood stained shirt
from this gaping hole in our chest.

it may be three am but you are allowed to cry.
you can slide down the wall crying, aching and screaming at the moon.
you're aloud to cry into your knees until your tears fill up the room.
you are not weak. we could never be weak.

don't hurt yourself, learn to love yourself.
i know you want to get rid of the sadness and him
and the heartbreak he brought.
i know you want to get rid of the numbness
and the sleepless nights and shaky hands.
but you cant set your skin on fire or tear open your veins,
your bones will be spilling out with pain if you do.
you cant do that.
because despite the pain, you are everything good.
and darkness needs the stars to find his way through the night.
don't confuse your light for his darkness.

its going to get better.
you're on the edge and you're waiting for the fall.
but there is nothing good at the bottom.
maybe just a lot of broken bones and blood. and disappointment.
i know how hard it is for you to stay here.
but i promise you i will beat for you for as long as you let me.
and one day you will wake up smiling
and you will be on the edge one day looking at the sky
not at the ground below you.
we will have grown.
and we will be alright.

sincerely - your slightly shattered heart.

build it better // aron wright