help me save myself.

most the time when i think
i speak too quickly
even though its in my head,
i had to get it off my chest.

cause if i don't i wont be able to breath.

im stuck in these walls,
im running out of words to say
and its getting hard to breath.

im getting lonely again.

and im stuck.

with no words to write,
or anything to say,
a heart skipping a beat,
and running out of air to breath.

i need to break these walls

someone help me get something off my chest.

someone save me.

help me save me.

help me.

A Little Death // The Neighbourhood

epilogue to the suffering

high school

we deserve an epilogue for our dead souls.
i think we've suffered enough.

im a
B plus average.
average looking girl
blonde hair, brown eyes
nothing special
except for long legs
and the way my eyes speak
in ways you cannot teach.

this is to the girl
so popular she cant even think for herself.
self esteem so low you cant even feel it in her fingertips.
i wish you the best. and i hope you learn to love yourself.

to the girls surrounding her
acting like puppets with kites tied to their wrists.
searching for their souls but the wind is blowing them the wrong way.
you are more than what others think of you.

this is to the boy i first loved
thank you for teaching me to love the rain,
and thank you for showing me that your only
redeeming quality was that i deserve better.
and you deserve better too.

to the boy who loves Mary Jane,
and would do anything for the women he loves.
a romeo and juliet type of love.
except for she's not real, and he's killing himself slowly before she even bats an eye.
i hope you find the real her one day.

to the girl waist deep in self doubt.
mixed with antidepressants, and sadness you can see from a mile away.
you're so beautiful. your disorder does not define you.

to the boy who doesn't believe in god because science makes more sense.
i pray for you every day.
because my brother sat in jail screaming for god to help him.
i saw the man he grew to be because my god loves him
and theres no formula for love.

this is for the hardest time of our lives
broken pencils, broken hearts
beautiful people, and beautiful souls.

im here to remind you that
we made it.

class of 2016

the ones who sit by the knight
the ones who eat in the library
to the ones so ready to leave they cant even take a moment to let it all in.
and to the ones suffering

we made it.

four months

sixteen days.

and these floors will be nothing but memories
and we will never have these days back.

paris will be nothing but a figure of speech,
and i will forever be missing home.

to highschool.

you have been the best 
and the worst days of my life.
i'm still trying to figure out how that is.